'The Other Half'

We all have that one friend. He/she has jumped from long term relationship to long term relationship, their promise to stay single after the most recent break up, never quite being fulfilled.

Most of us also know of a person who refuses to even pop to the shops alone, insisting, or at times, dragging, a friend to go with them. 

And while many love their own company, often opting for a night in alone over going out with friends, there still exists a preoccupation of sorts, with being alone.

Whether it's the constant stream of love stories we're taught to believe in through books and films from such a young and impressionable age, or just society at large frowning on those who choose to be alone.

I mean, we even refer to partners as 'the other half'. Implying that we aren't quite complete until we meet prince/princess charming. 

As with anything, moderation is key. Being at two extremes will no doubt drive you potty. But while it is of upmost important to not spend all your time cooped up in your room alone, I think it's equally important to be comfortable being alone. And the latter, in my opinion, isn't emphasised or encouraged anywhere near as frequently, as the former.

To be happy with yourself first and foremost is the trick. Not to think that happiness is an external entity. Because while that person may make you smile when they are in your midst, when they leave, (don't mistake the inevitable for pessimism) your happiness will walk out of the door with them.

And to end my ramblings, I shall leave you with this wonderfully ironic quote by the author of (yes I'm about to break the rules,) Fight Club. 

'People used what they called a telephone because they hated being close together and they were scared of being alone.' - Chuck Palahniuk.

:) x

"Men have become the tools of their tools." - Henry David Thoreau

As I type up this blog post on my laptop that I probably couldn't live without, my iPhone bleeps with a text message. I immediately peer over at my phone to see who it is. 

Text messaging, iMessage, Whatsapp, Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, Tumblr, Pintrest, Snapchat, Youtube, Netflix.

The vast majority of us will use at least one or more of the above on a day to day basis. Instinctively unlocking our phones and opening one of these apps from the minute our eyes open in the morning, through to the end of our day, when we struggle to stay awake to scroll through the endless pictures, tweets, or videos.

Now don't get me wrong, I love technology and everything it allows us to do. But like everything, there are certain limits. And sometimes, just sometimes, I do think we have surpassed these limits by a long mile.

I wonder how many of us have let the food in front of us go cold, while we take endless photos of our meal, trying to get the perfect one? How many of us have ended up getting late to meet a friend because we wanted to take the perfect selfie before we left the house? Now I know I'm exaggerating and using light hearted examples, but on a more serious note, how many kids do you reckon, have wasted entire summers sat in front of a computer, not going outside, or physically interacting or communicating with anyone.

I'm not attempting to be preachy because I'm the first one to admit that I spend way too much time on my laptop/computer/phone or whatever else it may be. 

But all I'm trying to say is, how many things have you got on your to do list, wish list, or bucket list? Whether it's something big like a skydive, or travelling the world, or something smaller, like wanting to read or write more often. And how many times have you told yourself that you just don't have the time?

Now compare this with the amount of time you spend looking at Kim Kardashian's most recent selfie, or people's holiday snaps on Instagram wishing that was you? Do you still not have the time to do all those things you've been wanting to do forever?

I think living in the society that we do, we have to learn to love and embrace technology. We have no choice since it is all around us. But we have to learn how to prioritise, and objectively look at whether the 'technology vs. everything else' balance in our lives is healthy.

So take the plunge. Switch off that phone, close your laptop, and do something.

P.S. When you do switch your phones and computers back on (the irony!), take a look at the video below and this blog post that explain what I'm trying to say in a much more succinct and coherent way!

:) x

“She's not wearing makeup so her face just looks like skin.” ― Chuck Palahniuk

She climbs out of bed, and walks straight over to the mirror. The somewhat mundane routine. The same old scrutiny, day in, day out.

Pinching and poking her face in an attempt to survey both old and new spots, scars, freckles, and wrinkles. Like unwelcome guests at a party, on her skin, on her body.

A little tighter here, and a little slimmer there, just a few adjustments and she'd feel better, she'd be happy.

Almost instinctively she reaches for the bag. The thick greasy liquid feels cold on her skin as she smears it onto her face. Still unsatisfied, she adds a little more until the mask looks complete. 

The curls in her hair disappear one by one, as the straighteners sizzle on her damp hair, and the room becomes filled with smoke and a distinct burning smell.

She's running late because her hair took too long, and so, as always, breakfast is skipped. Although it doesn't matter. Like her boyfriend mentioned, she needs to lose a few pounds anyway.


This is the sad reality.

We are bombarded with society's notion of size 0, page 3, thigh gapped, 'perfect' images. But take away the photoshop, the makeup team, the hair stylists, and the professional designers, and you will realise that beauty truly is in the eye of the beholder.

And you are beautiful. 

:) x

Woolwich attack

Recently something despicable happened. Something that has been all over the news since, and that has split public opinion and sent social networking sites on a frenzy. As you already probably know, on Wednesday 22nd May, a British soldier, Lee Rigby was murdered on the streets of Woolwich, London.

Now I think any sane person will agree with me when I say, what happened that day was barbaric, brutal, and unjustified. However, I want to just put a few thoughts out there.

Firstly, I strongly believe that a life is a life, one is not anymore valuable then another. So when 75 year old Mohammed Saleem was stabbed to death in Birmingham just under a month ago, correct me if I'm wrong, but I do not recall this cruel, unprovoked act of violence getting anywhere near the same amount of news coverage or discussion, as the Woolwich attack. All I'm trying to say, is take a moment to reflect before you unquestioningly believe everything the media tells you. Step back and look at things objectively and make up your own mind. Instead of just accepting the opinions and ideas of others that are being forced down you by the television screen in your living room.

Secondly, I want to tackle some of the reactions I've seen circulating the internet following the Woolwich attack. For all those people making inadequate and racist claims stating that all Muslims are terrorists, and should be sent out of the country, I'm sorry to be blunt but these are far-fetched and uneducated ideas. Drawing on an analogy that Russel Brand made, is Football to blame for the violence caused by the small minority of football hooligans? And therefore, should Football be banned? 

How can a religion that is followed by millions around the world be responsible or to blame for these violent acts that a minority commit? In fact, the Quran even states that the taking of one life, is comparable to killing the whole of humanity. That is how much Islam condemns murder.

I think in times of crisis like this, it is easy to turn against each other, to appoint blame based on stereotypes. Instead, we should be brushing our differences to one side and coming together to tackle these issues, to come up with ways of preventing these acts of violence from taking place in our society.

Myles Dyer put it best when he posted the following on his Facebook page,

'Those who use words like 'terrorist', 'evil', or '[race]' to explain horrific acts of violence, wipe their hands clean of identifying actual root causes, and thus preventative measures'.

I couldn't agree more, and though we are far from it, I wish as a society, we could come together at times like this and figure out what steps to take next, together.

My thoughts and prayers are with the families of Lee Rigby and Mohammed Saleem and the thousands dying around the world everyday.

I'll leave you with the following quote from one of my favourite novels, Noughts and Crosses by Malorie Blackman:

"I used to comfort myself with the belief that it was only certain individuals and their peculiar notions that spoilt things for the rest of us. But how many individuals does it take before it's not the individuals who are prejudiced but society itslef?"

:-) x